UK Madams vs The Stick

With only three weeks left of my year, I thought it was about time to share with you my new and improved disciplining techniqes for controlling Indian children. I have already sent mom a letter in the post giving her some tips! Discipling has been a challenge since day one, with the huge classes, excitement at having a UK Madam and, of course, the beating - or lack of it in UK classes - causing problems. I can't count the number of times I've been handed a stick and told that even if I "just" threaten with it, it will improve student behaviour and performance. And only yesterday I saw one of the Sirs beat a boy with learning difficulties until he was balling his eyes out, all for the entertainment of himself and the other students. I cannot tell you how much I'm looking forward to not being constantly surrounded by violence and always hearing the whip of the stick, the sting of a slap or the tears of a crying child in the background. Most of all, I can't wait to not have to worry about my movements and watch children flinch when I accidentally raise my hands too high when doing an action, or telling off a naughty child. But for now, I'll keep fighting my battle. UK Madams vs The Stick.

Successful Strategies
1) "54321 silence!" Complete with matching actions, this works a treat, even at the higher campus.
2) "Show me your hands!" Indian children seem to have this strange inability to stop working once they have started. I can spend ten minutes trying to get everyone to start their work, but getting them to stop can prove an even tougher challenge. I have tried "close your UK notebooks" and "put down your pens" but to no avail. "Show me your hands", on the other hand, seems to be the magic command and provides me some entertainment watching them all wave at me.
3)"I say you say!" So good for refocusing the children's attention. And, again, provides lots of entertainment when the class is still copying me twenty minutes later. "Mohan Chandu, why are you talking?" "Mohan Chandu, why are you talking?"
4) Zipping up all of the childrens' mouths. Some of you may find it difficult to imagine me standing in front of a class of forty children, miming zipping up my mouth and then doing the same to every single pupil's mouth, but I seem to have lost my ability to get embarrassed in front of children. Anytime a child wants to ask a question, I have to unzip ther mouth first and rezip if afterwards. Of course for Mohan Chandu, the most talkative boy in 7th class, we need more than a zip, we need "gum" (glue). So no asking questions for Mohan Chandu. Any doubts, and he has to mime his question!
5) Heads down thumbs up. I never understood this game when I was a kid, but I don't think I've seen my class so silent. Now I understand your logic, primary school teachers. Explaining this game in broken English to a bunch of overexcited Indian children is tough (for those of you who don't know, heads down thumbs up involves certain students going around and secretly pinching other students' thumbs whilst they have their eyes closed. Those students then have to try and successfully guess who pinched them.), but it was definitely worth it, for its comedic value more than anything. I had to bite my tongue not to laugh at the selected students creeping around the silent classroom and increase the pressure when one boy, Venkatesh, asked me, "ma'am we can be pinching the girls?" before tiptoeing over to the girls side of the classroom and then scurrying back, post-pinch. The result was a bit of a role reversal - a very calm class and avery over excited teacher!

Of course, these techniques don't always work. As an unqualified nineteen year old, there's only so much I can do. Still, its touching to see other teachers occasionally say to their classes "54321" or "fingers on your lips." Attention primary school teachers of Britain, as I was so rightly corrected by a 5th class student, we do in fact only put our fingers on our lips, not our whole hands.